there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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