we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
