Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
