We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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