I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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