And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
