shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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