Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
