He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
