Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
