Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
