hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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