I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
