I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
