he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
