u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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