I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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