But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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