we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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