I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize