just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
