i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
How's work?
Spinning.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
