There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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