At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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