Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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