I am full of burrito and curiosity
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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