And to think..we used to do everything sober...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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