On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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