Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
