she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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