Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
