youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
