So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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