I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
