You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
