So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Holy sore nipples Batman
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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