oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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