i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
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