He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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