There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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