I wanna bring you to show and tell
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
This toilet bowl is my home.
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