mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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