thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
