Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize