I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
