i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
