He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
What a dumb baby whore.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
