I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
we should paint friendship bongs
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