I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
