so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
