I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
