Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
