she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
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