she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
