covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I could make wine with my vomit
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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