I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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