if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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