After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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