Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
