It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
