see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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