Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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