I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
