i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize