dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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