He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
